Very young, we all receive messages and experiences from those around us about our body, our pleasure, our nakedness and our sensations.

You may think this is irrelevant, but they are formative factors about how we experience and approach our relationships and sex when we are adults.

In order to cultivate passion and desire, it is important to take into account the stories we have received about our gender, sex and our sexuality.

Start a new page in your journal and write down your first thoughts, memories and associations as you explore these questions:

1. What were the first messages you received about sex?
Scan your memory and analyze everything that was talked about, seen and witnessed during your childhood. Was sex something you should be afraid of or avoided? For example, many women were warned that sex always ended in pregnancy.

Was sex seen as a predatory act from which you could be a victim rather than something you might wish for? Was your body a source of shame? For example, "that skirt is too short."

Or maybe sex was seen as part of a loving exchange. When you saw your parents laughing, holding hands and kissing, did you feel ashamed or embarrassed? Or did you simply and simply learn that it was a biological function?

See also: 6 Sexual insecurities that all women have

2. What have you done with these messages?
Complete the following sentences:
"Good girls do not ..."
"A real man does not ..."
"A lady should ..."
"You can only have sex when ..."
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3. To what extent have these messages affected you?
Emily Nagoski writes about how we all have accelerators and brakes during sex - things that inhibit or incite us. Accelerators can include scents, visual cues or any kind of touch. Brakes include fear of being discovered, not feeling sexy or attractive or worrying about getting an STD. What are your accelerators and your brakes?

4. Was sex central or peripheral in your family life?
Frequently most people respond that sex was a topic that was never discussed. But when we look further, once you catalog all the different ways in which the topic of sex was avoided or negatively emphasized, there are only very few who still believe that the subject of sex was peripheral. Ironically, issues that are not spoken grow inevitably. Explore this question and find out what it was like for you.

5. Has your sex life reinforced or debated the messages you received when you were a child?
Have you encountered a totally different sex world or have your childhood beliefs been confirmed? Think retrospectively about your recent and past experiences. Examine how your sexual foundations of the past have molded you, introduced you and opened you to all the possibilities you have experienced.

Finally choose a sexual message that you have received and want to change. What myth would you like to deny? Identifying it you can renew your sexual life to 100%.

New York CITY.- Do you want to have more sex, a better connection with your partner and intense orgasms? Before trying a new position or buying a sex toy, ideally you should ask these questions to your partner (just in case).
How do you like to masturbate?

A very private question, do not you think? Knowing what kind of toys your partner likes or how he or she stimulates himself or herself could give you ideas on how to give pleasure in bed. Do you like prostate stimulation? Do you prefer body cream than lubricant? It's like a treasure map: no problem if he already knows where the pleasure is.

What is your most exciting sexual fantasy?

Not all our fantasies we want to make reality. For example, a trio. If your partner imagines having relationships with 2 women ... do you think she is imagining you? And if so, how would it be? They could have a threesome together with a sex toy or a bit of porn. Thus both could be satisfied.

That excites you?

Before you have exciting sex, you need to define what it means to you. Having this conversation is an excellent option to have the sex you want, so be prepared to answer the same questions.

How do you like to be touched?

Possibly this is one of the most important questions because you will receive feedback. Many men prefer firm and strong contact, while women prefer something gentler and lighter. It is important that you learn to distinguish the difference in tastes and know how to satisfy them.

What kind of sex do you fancy for now?

Your partner will want to have very intimate sex occasionally. In others he will prefer something rude and instinctive. Our tastes change over time, and just because we like the cowgirl position now does not mean it will be our favorite forever. It's hard for us to say what we want, but they just get carried away.

Do you like sex toys?

There are men who believe that sex toys are an insult to their performance and male membership. However, women can not reach orgasm with simple penetration. If you need stimulation of different erogenous zones to reach the climax, check with your partner. Who removes and is not against trying a vibrator.

What are the most sensitive parts of your body?

You may already know the majority, but you also have to remember that there is no person who knows his body better, than himself. Same and has something to share and I never told you.

Intimately linked the relationship between sleep and sexual life is narrower than is believed, according to recent studies. (Photo: Shutterstock)
Ian Kerner
Editor's note: Ian Kerner is a partner therapist, writer and collaborator on CNN sex issues.

United States (CNN en Espanol).-If you think you're too tired to have sex, you're not alone. According to a new and exhaustive investigation, women over 50 years who sleep less than seven hours a day report being less sexually active than those who slept more, a problem that increases with age.

Sleep disorders can also interfere with sex. Researchers suggest that men with obstructive sleep apnea syndrome, a condition that involves snoring and breathing difficulties, have lower levels of sexual activity, possibly because they produce fewer amounts of testosterone.

Sleep apnea can also increase the risk of cardiovascular problems, which may be related to sexual dysfunction.

But the opposite side also seems to be true: Another recent study that investigated the impact of sleep and sex on college students, he found that for those in affective relationships, every hour of more than sleeping corresponded to greater sexual desire, more vaginal lubrication and a 14% increase in chances of being excited the next day.

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That's probably because a good night's sleep leaves us refreshed, relaxed and energetic, which is important to feel sexy.

"This type of study is based on previous research that demonstrates that people's lifestyle and behaviors influence their sex life," says Debby Herbenick, associate professor at Indiana University and president of the American Association of Sexual Educators, counselors and therapists.

Eating, exercising and stress levels also influence our behavior and performance in bed, sexual desire and interest in sex. But sleeping is one of the major categories, to a large extent under our control, ensures the study.

"For example, a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that sleep apnea is related to sexual difficulties including erectile dysfunction and more global sexual difficulties." Another suggested that among the many reasons why menopause impacts our sex life is due to lack of sleep. And one more of the 2015 showed that women who sleep more at night are more likely to have a greater sexual desire the next day. "It is clear that sex and sleep are intimately related," says Herbenick.

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Although some couples use fatigue as an excuse not to have sex before they recognize that they have more serious partner problems, that is not always the case.

"Being tired is the number one reason women are blamed for their lack of desire," says Florida University professor of psychology Laurie Mintz.

Of course, if you were stingy with your hours of sleep and are in a bad mood and feel exhausted, it is very likely that the last thing you want to do is to have an intense love day.

The cycle of sex and sleep
Ironically, a sexual drought can make the dream worse, which will put you in a vicious circle of irritability. That's because sex helps us relax and yes, to fall asleep.

Do you remember the classic stereotype of the man who falls deeply asleep immediately after sex? There's a lot of truth to it, for both men and women.

To a large extent, the explanations for this are chemical. After orgasm, the bodies release large amounts of oxytocin, the so-called "hug or affection hormone," which reduce stress hormone levels (cortisol) and result in deep relaxation, the report says.

But sex and sleep are also related in other ways. To be able to fall asleep, we need to let go, says Lawrence Siegel, sexologist certificate from the Sage Institute for Family Development. Sex is similar, particularly for women, who usually need to be relaxed to have an orgasm.

How to break the cycle of not sleeping and not having sex?
First, I recommend following a few basic steps to promote good sleep hygiene: Make sure your mattress and pillow are comfortable, decreases the lights at least an hour before you go to bed and uses a background sound machine (or white noise) If your room is noisy.

Try not to use your cell phone, tablet or any other electronic device in bed, as your light can interfere with your sleep. Make sure you're not using those gadgets to evade intimacy,A common tactic in people who feel nervous about sex, according to the Certified Sexual therapist and family therapist, Amanda Pasciucco.

Sex is a fundamental aspect for the life of the human being, but enjoying it is not always so easy when it is not treated with the proper responsibility that it requires.

The gynecologist Aura Pirea, via Telefónica, explained to facets that: "Having a healthy sex life leads to multiple implications." It is not only ' healthy ' because of the absence of diseases, but because it is in a state of physical, mental and social well-being that allow the full enjoyment of sex.

Pirea added that care should be taken of the problems that may pose a risk for the couple, but it also has to do with developing the relationship without taboos, without restrictions and with maximum pleasure. "Not only is it to enjoy as individuals but also to live in harmony every moment in a couple."

The benefits are very rewarding, ranging from psychological to physical aspects: sleeping well, having an emotional balance, improving personal relationships, developing and strengthening the immune system that avoids illnesses, because sex is a natural anxiolytic (relaxing). It also improves the appearance of the skin and hair, increases physical stamina and strengthens the cardiovascular system.

For gynecologist, the point keys to lead a healthy sex life are:

(1) Maintain a good health: it leads a balanced life, eat properly, takes enough fluids to avoid dehydration and do cardiovascular exercises to promote your sexual life.

(2) Entiéndete with your partner: Talk about the likes and preferences of the taboos or restrictions created by family, society, religion.

(3) Inquires about the topic: reading, researching and talking about sex with your partner or other people, it always helps to solve certain doubts that you may have.

(4) To attend medical checkups: Both women and men must go to urological or gynecological controls and general practitioners, annually to mislead pathologies that cause problems in their intimate areas.

(5) Maintain good personal hygiene: be careful with the cleanliness of your genitals, before and after having sex; Nor is it advisable to tolerate the urge to urinate as this also generates infections.

Communication is vital in a couple and more if it is a very important issue for the relationship, the sex life.

Ask yourself these 5 questions and seek to improve:

1. How do you like to be touched? Women want to be heard and men need instructions, so it can be the best connection. Not always what one likes the other.

2. What excites you? Say everything you like and hope the other person will also tell you everything you need to know to have a better sex.

3. What do you crave? Tell you what the position you love the most right now.

4. Do you like a toy or game? He asks if he wants you to help with something more than just hands and mouth.

5. What is your most sensitive area? Tell your partner what you like best, but also tell your sensitive part to know where to play at the most precise moment.